Talking About Contraception With Your Partner: What to Say & How

Talking about contraception with your partner can feel awkward, especially in a new relationship. But open and honest conversations about birth control are the key to healthy relationships and responsible reproductive health.

Are you unsure how to talk about birth control with your partner? If the answer is “yes”, this practical guide gives you clear, straightforward tips to help you start the conversation with confidence.

Why Is Contraception Important?

1. It prevents pregnancy when you’re not ready.
2. It can protect against Sexually Transmitted Infections, depending on the type of contraception used. This applies to condoms only.
3. It empowers you as you take control of your reproductive health.
4. It reduces the risk of abortions, since it stops unplanned pregnancies.
5. It lets you plan your future around work, family and personal goals.

Why Should You Talk to Your Partner About Contraception?

There are several reasons why talking to your partner about contraception is important:

• It builds trust.
• It encourages shared responsibility (an unplanned pregnancy affects both partners).
• It improves communication, which is crucial for a healthy relationship.
• It supports mutual respect.
• It reduces anxiety around sex.

Read also: The Hidden Link Between Sexual Pleasure and Empowerment.

How to Talk to Your Partner About Contraception [Practical Tips]

Here are some practical, actionable tips to guide such an intimate conversation:

1. Don’t Start the Talk Right Before or During Sex

Have the conversation before you’re in the heat of the moment. Bringing it up during intimacy can create pressure and defensiveness.

Instead, choose a relaxed, neutral time when you both feel calm and able to listen.

What you could say

1. Can we talk about contraception properly sometime soon?
2. I’d feel more comfortable if we had a plan before things go further.
3. I think it’s important we talk about protection outside of the moment.

2. Be Clear About Your Priorities

Say what matters to you:

• Preventing pregnancy
• Avoiding STIs (see our guide on STIs)
• Managing period symptoms
• Choosing non-hormonal options

What you could say

1. I want us to agree on a contraceptive method that protects us both.
2. Preventing pregnancy is really important to me right now.
3. I’d prefer something reliable so we don’t have to worry.
4. I want us both to feel safe and relaxed.
5. Protection against STIs matters to me, especially while we’re still getting to know each other.
6. I’d rather avoid hormonal methods if possible. How do you feel about that?
7. I’m trying to manage my periods, so that’s part of my decision too.

3. Share Responsibility, Don’t Carry It Alone

Contraception should not be one person’s burden. Even if you’re the only one on contraception (IUD, oral contraception), the outcome will affect you both.

Discuss:

• Who will buy condoms
• Who will arrange prescriptions
• Backup plans if something fails

What you could say

1. Can we decide together what works for both of us?
2. Would you be happy to buy condoms as well?
3. I don’t think contraception should just be my responsibility.

You can explore options together, including information about the combined contraceptive pill or accessing advice via our Pharmacy Contraception Service.

4. Talk About Condoms (Even If You’re on the Pill)

Condoms protect against STIs, especially in new relationships. On the other hand, hormonal contraception does not.

Using condoms alongside hormonal contraception is often the safest approach.

What you could say

1. Until we’ve both had STI tests, I think condoms are important.
2. It would make me feel more secure.
3. Even if I’m on the pill, I’d still like to use condoms.

Read our guide to Durex products to take proper care of your sexual health!

5. Address Common Myths Early

Your partner may have concerns about fertility or the long-term effects of contraception.

If that’s the case, discuss evidence calmly.

What you could say

1.  I’ve done my research, and hormonal contraception doesn’t cause infertility.
2. There’s a lot of misinformation online. Maybe we can check reliable sources.
3. If you’re worried, we could speak to a pharmacist together.

For science-backed evidence, read more here: Can the Pill Make You Infertile? [What Science Says].

6. Be Honest About Side Effects

Some contraceptive methods have various side effects, so it’d be better to let your partner know beforehand.

If you’re worried about mood changes, periods or libido, say so openly. Transparency avoids resentment later.

What you could say

1. I’m slightly concerned about possible side effects.
2. If I notice changes, I’d want us to talk about it.
3. It might take time for my body to adjust.

Read also: Does The Contraceptive Pill Stop Periods? [FAQs Answered].

7. Discuss Long-Term Plans

Are you planning to have children soon? Are you breastfeeding? Are you over 40 and considering different options?

Life stage matters and it’s important for both to know what each one of you wants. That’s why you should talk about your long-term plans openly.

What you could say

1. I’m not planning on having children for a few years.
2. What are your thoughts about kids in the future?
3. It would help to know we’re on the same page.

8. Talk about “What If” Scenarios

Things don’t always go as planned. Condoms can break, pills can be missed, and timing mistakes can happen (and do happen all the time).

Preparing for the unexpected and discussing potential scenarios in advance can reduce panic and help you act quickly if needed.

What you could say

1. If a condom split, what would we do?
2. Would we both feel comfortable using emergency contraception if needed?
3. Let’s agree on a backup plan, so we’re not stressed if something unexpected happens.
4. I’d rather talk about it now than panic later.

9. Don’t Do Anything You Don’t Want to

Contraception and protection are part of consent. You should never feel pressured to skip protection or use a method you’re uncomfortable with.

Your boundaries matter, and a respectful partner will take them seriously. After all: Your body, your choice.

What you could say

1. I’m not comfortable having sex without protection.
2. If we can’t agree on contraception, I’m not ready to move forward.
3. This is about my body and my safety.

10. Involve a Healthcare Professional Together

If you’re unsure which contraceptive method suits you, consider seeking advice together.

Visit a healthcare professional to learn about your options, especially if your partner has concerns.

What you could say

1. Would you come with me to speak to a pharmacist?
2. It might help to hear advice from a professional.

What If My Partner Is Resistant to Birth Control?

If your partner resists contraception:

• Stay calm and avoid confrontation
• Ask what concerns them specifically
• Provide factual information or do your research together
• Suggest speaking to a healthcare professional together
• Set clear boundaries

If your partner refuses to use protection or isn’t ready to respect your choices or concerns, this may indicate a deeper relationship issue. And it’s always ok to walk away.

Talking about Birth Control to Your Partner — Summary

Talking about contraception with your partner may feel uncomfortable at first, but it’s important so that you know you’re both on the same page about your needs.

Follow the tips we gave you to help guide a clear and honest conversation, which can make both of you feel safer and less anxious.

To continue learning about intimacy, confidence and reproductive health, explore our guide to sexual wellbeing!